Resources
Reaching forward to what lies ahead...
Because we are told that it's sinful to talk about our experiences with others, we may feel alone in our questions and concerns. We are encouraged to interact primarily with members of the same group who are under the same leadership, so we may not realize how common these issues and concerns are among other high-control groups. There are hundreds of resources available to help people who have come out of abusive church situations. These particular resources have been very helpful for many Grace Community Church Maryville Refugees to understand that they are not alone in their concerns, and to know that there are reasons for what they've experienced and the way they feel.
Some of the following resources describe how to recognize high-control groups, their structure and how they function, and the damage they inflict on the people in the groups. Others are helpful in the healing process; for understanding what happened, and how to move forward. Some resources are produced by Christians for Christians; others come from a secular perspective. They all have benefit.
While each of the following resources is recommended, we do not necessarily endorse all of the content of each item. Please use discernment for what is appropriate to your situation.
Essential Books
If you read only one book, read this one:
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In the House of Friends: Understanding and Healing from Spiritual Abuse in Christian Churches
Kenneth J. Garrett, Pastor of Grace Church, Portland, OR
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There is a place that promises acceptance, spiritual growth, and friendship, but instead delivers criticism, abuse, and exploitation. It is a place that claims to obey the word of God, but in practice weaponizes the word against those who disagree or doubt. That place might be a Christian church. It might be a cult. It is probably both. This book is written for survivors of abusive churches, their families and friends, and all who want to understand spiritual abuse and help the abused. It is written to address a poorly understood, rarely admitted problem today--spiritual abuse in Christian churches.
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You joined your church because of its intensity for God. Like no other place, it’s helped you discover the meaning of obedience. Of teachableness. Of death to self. If there’s one problem, it’s the confusion that sometimes comes from your own carnal thinking. But God has given you leaders who can lovingly correct a doubting, independent spirit and help you choose God’s best for your life. How can you go wrong with a church like that? Easily. What you’ve just read actually fits the profile of many abusive churches. This book uncovers the subtle but powerful techniques by which, in the name of truth, controlling leaders manipulate and intimidate countless believers. It also supplies tools for overcoming persuasive, deceptive teachings and practices.
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F. Remy Diederich, Pastor of Cedarbrook Church, Menomonie, WI
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If you have suffered spiritual abuse from a toxic faith community or toxic leader, your trust has been broken. Now you are left wounded and disillusioned, wondering if you can ever trust organized religion, yourself, or possibly, even God. In Broken Trust, Diederich relates his personal experiences of toxic faith and spiritual abuse, along with the experiences of other survivors. This isn't just another tell-all story of abuse; it's a guide that will help you to identify spiritual abuse and offer you a practical plan for recovery. Don't let your abusers derail your faith.
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Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church
Michael J. Kruger, Professor at Reformed Theological Seminary
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Are churches looking for the wrong kind of leaders? We have tolerated and even celebrated the kind of leaders Jesus warned us against. Written for church leaders and church members on the problem of spiritual abuse, how to spot it, and how to handle it in the church.
Further Reading
Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church
Diane Langberg, PhD
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​Power has a God-given role in human relationships and institutions, but it can lead to abuse when used in unhealthy ways. This book shows that the body of Christ desperately needs to understand the forms power takes, how it is abused, and how to respond to abuses of power. Dr. Langberg offers a clinical and theological framework for understanding how power operates, the effects of the abuse of power, and how power can be redeemed and restored to its proper God-given place in relationships and institutions.
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Steven Hassan, Cult Expert
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Learn to recognize the signs of a destructive organization. Protect yourself from psychological manipulation. Overcome the residual problems of former cult membership. It is an excellent resource for understanding authoritarian, destructive leadership structure and methods of control. Contains a rubric for evaluating the extent of control and undue influence in an organization.
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Bessel van der Kolk, MD
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Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. In The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. Based on his own research and that of other leading specialists, this book exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal, and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.
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David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen, Retired Pastors
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No one should leave church feeling manipulated, controlled, shamed, or condemned, but places of shelter and encouragement can become abusive if spiritual leaders begin to use their authority to meet their needs for importance, power, or spiritual gratification. In this book you'll discover how to identify an abusive church and also how to break free from its destructive legalism. Topics covered include how spiritual abuse develops (and why those under its grip often don't see it), the subtle ways that leaders and systems “hook” and control believers, robbing them of their joy in Christ, and effective strategies for escaping abusive situations. Insightful, practical, and solidly grounded in Scripture, this book has what you need to recover a grace-filled relationship with God and His church.
Organizations
and Websites
Steven Hassan
Former cult member who has been educating the public about mind control and destructive cults since 1976.
Presents the BITE Model of Authoritarian Control and very helpful information on Undue Influence and Destructive Cult Structure.
Recognize the signs of a destructive organization.
Protect yourself from psychological manipulation.
Rescue a friend of a loved one from a destructive cult--without coercion.
Overcome the residual problems of former cult membership.
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​https://www.icsahome.com/home
International Cultic Studies Association
Founded in 1979, the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) is a global network of people concerned about psychological manipulation and abuse in cultic and other high-control environments. ICSA is tax-exempt, supports civil liberties, and is not affiliated with any religious or commercial organizations. ICSA is unique in how it brings together former group members, families, helping professionals and researchers.
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BeEmboldened exists for those impacted by religious trauma by providing support for the prevention of victimization and revictimization, creating a safe place to ask the hard questions, to heal, and to rebuild.
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https://www.tearsofeden.org/about
We seek to empower survivors to connect with their own agency to pursue the healing process from Spiritual Abuse. Tears facilitates connection to other survivors and provides language and resources to name the experience of Spiritual Abuse.
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https://www.nacr.org/about-our-story
We believe that part of the Good News that Christ brought to us was the realization that we can all bring our “problems of self” into the community of Christ and that his grace extends to our hidden wounds as well as our faith.
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https://www.dianelangberg.com/resources/
Recommended resources for responding to abuse. Dr. Langberg is globally recognized for her 50 years of clinical work with trauma victims. She has trained caregivers and clergy on six continents in responding to trauma and to the abuse of power.
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Anna Kitko, author of the Report